http://laacrima.livejournal.com/ ([identity profile] laacrima.livejournal.com) wrote in [community profile] ontd_football2011-03-31 08:22 pm

is this what it has come down to



 



Fernando's Goat-to-Goal

Fernando Torres is resorting to desperate measures in order to break his Chelsea duck - and he wants Blues fans to help him achieve his goal.

The Spanish hitman has fired blanks in each of the six games he's appeared in since Chelsea paid Liverpool a record-breaking £50m for his services back in January.

And with the once-prolific forward's form and character now being called into question, Torres is turning to the traditions of his homeland in order to solve the crisis.

At precisely one minute to midday today, he will carry out an ancient Iberian curse-breaking rite called the 'Dia de los Inocentes' at Stamford Bridge.

The procedure will start off with Torres leading a goat - taken from a herd in his hometown of Fuenlabrada and flown to the UK specially earlier this week - around the pitch.

The well-fed animal will then be encouraged to defecate in each of the goal-mouths so as to ward off any malicious spirits that might be blocking Torres' shots.

After a brief visit to the Chelsea trophy room for luck, Torres will then 'run' the goat through the Chelsea Village complex before closing the ceremony by ritually launching the animal from the roof of St Mary's Roman Catholic Church in Cadogan Street, SW3.

As per Spanish tradition, the 'Dia de los Inocentes' may only be performed on the first day of the fourth month of the year.

It also demands that at least 12 people take part in the 'running of the goat', which is why Torres has appealed to Chelsea's fan-base for help.

The first dozen to turn up at Stamford Bridge on Friday April 1 before midday will not only be able to take part in this historic event, but will also be able to take home choice cuts of goat meat afterwards.

A spokesman for the striker said that Torres was confident the goals will start flowing following the ceremony:

"He first performed it in 2001, shortly before his Atletico Madrid career took off, and he's hoping for similarly spectacular results this time round," he said.


Seems legit

[identity profile] kris-boyd-etc.livejournal.com 2011-04-01 01:44 am (UTC)(link)
Haha. Nice April Fool's joke ;)

[identity profile] sailing-red.livejournal.com 2011-04-01 01:57 am (UTC)(link)
Whatever Torres if it came to this I'll guess I'll hook up with you. Still better than a goat. You owe me that for all that repping I do for you here. And while you're at it pay my college tuition.

[identity profile] ktdone.livejournal.com 2011-04-01 02:02 am (UTC)(link)
furreal?

[identity profile] ktdone.livejournal.com 2011-04-01 02:03 am (UTC)(link)
alright it's not april 1st here yet, not fair.

[identity profile] footballfangirl.livejournal.com 2011-04-01 02:30 am (UTC)(link)
lmao. I wish this were true. Perfect April Fools post. :)

[identity profile] rubyqueen19.livejournal.com 2011-04-01 02:46 am (UTC)(link)
and will stevie g be the naked priest.??might go along just for a glimpse of stevie's famous tackle.;)
(deleted comment)

[identity profile] rvrthms.livejournal.com 2011-04-01 11:16 am (UTC)(link)
lol

[identity profile] alana2x1.livejournal.com 2011-04-01 05:13 am (UTC)(link)
No goats were harmed in the making of this article...

[identity profile] difusion.livejournal.com 2011-04-01 07:29 am (UTC)(link)
why does crazy shit happen on my birthday

[identity profile] sanysunshined.livejournal.com 2011-04-01 08:50 am (UTC)(link)
happy birthday!

[identity profile] mhfromnh.livejournal.com 2011-04-01 11:50 am (UTC)(link)
are you Fred or are you George?

[identity profile] kiaretta985.livejournal.com 2011-04-01 07:36 am (UTC)(link)
Image

[identity profile] sanysunshined.livejournal.com 2011-04-01 08:23 am (UTC)(link)
I don't believe this but if by any chance it's true and he throws a goat off a roof I'll be alarming PETA and any animal rights services

[identity profile] icannotthink.livejournal.com 2011-04-01 08:27 am (UTC)(link)
I buy it.

[identity profile] ashleyellisx.livejournal.com 2011-04-01 08:43 am (UTC)(link)
loool

[identity profile] elizaberglund.livejournal.com 2011-04-01 08:47 am (UTC)(link)
hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha ... I don't believe it but it is funny anyway!

[identity profile] xobrittanyrose.livejournal.com 2011-04-01 10:36 am (UTC)(link)
yep, seems totally legit.

[identity profile] x-butterfly19-x.livejournal.com 2011-04-01 11:38 am (UTC)(link)
lamoooooooooo ILU Mirror

just gonna leave this here

[identity profile] youth-depraved.livejournal.com 2011-04-01 12:07 pm (UTC)(link)
Image

[identity profile] izuzumi.livejournal.com 2011-04-01 03:34 pm (UTC)(link)
HAPPY APRIL FOOL'S!
This one was really good! I LMAO!!

[identity profile] noamjen.livejournal.com 2011-04-01 04:52 pm (UTC)(link)
STOP GOAT ABUSE!!!!

Where are the Wiese fangirls when you actually need them?

yeah I know it's not real but I can never pass on a chance to troll the Goat

[identity profile] fiveto-midnight.livejournal.com 2011-04-01 06:51 pm (UTC)(link)
lmfaooooo best comment in this post

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